Sunday, May 20, 2007

Stupidity Has No Limits

It's the moment we've all been waiting for: The Barbie Bandits are back! Well, in interview form, anyway. Heather Johnston, one of the two women, appeared on an interview with Good Morning America aired this past Friday to...um...sound progressively stupider, it would seem.

Sad Fact Number One:

And after getting lost on the way to the bank, they initially went to the wrong bank branch.

"We took a wrong turn somewhere, ended up going to a completely different Bank of America," Johnson said.

So, yes, not only did these idiots rob a bank with a completely flimsy and somewhat cracky plan, they WENT TO THE WRONG BANK AT FIRST. If there were such thing as criminal school, these two fail. F-minus on their stolen report cards.

Sad Fact Number Two:

Johnston laughed about what she and Miller did after the robbery: "Go straight to the mall." The first thing they did was visit an upscale hair salon to get highlights in their hair.

"Some of the stuff we did was pretty ignorant," she said.

You think?! Maybe?! Even as a casual observer of the legal system and the inner workings of criminal minds (usually via Law and Order), I know you should at least attempt to go to Mexico with that shit. Right? Or try to "launder" it somehow?


Sad Fact Number Three (But Somehow also the Simplest, Most Honest Thing I've Ever Heard a Parent of an Accused Criminal Say in an Interview):

Johnston's mother, Lisa Johnston, wept as she told the TV interviewer how she had hoped to instill positive values in her children by doing something special with them every day.

"I hoped that would instill and pretty much guarantee me wonderful adults," she said. "But I guess there's no guarantee."

Ain't it the truth.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Phil said...

Hi Jane,

They used to air this one program and I forget who aired this but it was called Dumbest Criminals and one time on the program there was this bank robber who was standing inline with his head covered with whipping cream thinking that this would hide his identity well one thing that, that idiot didn't realize is that the whipping cream was slowly melting and running down his face and dripping on the floor slowly exposing his face little by little as he was waiting to get to the bank teller. Who knows but maybe these two Barbie Twins will be on the next showing of that ROFLMAO

Jane the whole world is full of Idiots. LOL

2:16 AM  

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