Typing Pool's Guide to Surviving a Breakup
2. E-mail every friend you've had since 11th grade and wax poetic about your breakup. Try not to feel desperate doing so.
3. Sit on a couch in a superior's office. Listen to her tell you that you are far more attractive than what you had.
4. Call an old high-school friend for drinks.
5. End up at a karaoke bar, because said high-school friend knows that that's the only thing that will prevent you from drinking yourself to death.
6. Text everyone in the New York area that you know to come do karaoke with you.
7. Feel content when everyone gets back to you -- your phone starts vibrating off of the bar -- and a cute former coworker shows up to comfort you.
8. Outdrink said cute former coworker.
9. Believe said cute former coworker when he says you could do far, far, far better.
10. Stop mourning over something you never wanted in the first place.