Fight of the Century

I walked by a stack of New York Posts today on the way back from the gym, and I literally laughed out loud at the cover: Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger apparently got into some bitch-slapping, punching fight at Rosario Dawson's birthday party over -- of course -- Hilfiger being asked to move (God forbid) from his position at the one of the banquettes. And -- gasp -- Axl may have moved Hilfiger's girlfriend's drink from its original position at said banquette.

Now.

If I ran a fake newspaper, I would totally have made that story up as a page one "get." But seeing it actually take place as Post-ian news was enough to satisfy both my lust for gossip and my desire for utter ridiculousness in one fell swoop. The cover of the Post (wish I could link to it -- it's effing hilarious) shows Tommy Hilfiger in some weirdo angry karate-chop pose trying to bring the heat in Axl's general direction.

I mean, it's hard to even say something humorous because of the facts: Tommy Hilfiger? Really? I mean, if it were Tommy Lee, I'd be like, "Eh, yeah. Well. You know rock stars." But apparently fashion designers are willing to brawl like with the best of 'em if someone as much as touches their girlfriends' drinks at fancy New York nightclubs. So take that, Axl. Except Axl was probably all, "Should I really hit this fruit? Will I muss his hand-sewn blazer? Guess I'm forced to with all his karate-chopping and whatnot." <Pow!>

Five bucks says Hilfiger shouted, "I have a black belt!" one minute before the girly fight began.