Ass-Kicking

I'm going to be away this weekend, but I wanted to leave y'all with something. I've recently made a new friend, and he sent me something great a couple of weeks ago. I don't know how many of you guys are going through breakups or just remember how it was, but I found my friend's e-mail incredibly inspiring at the time (just FYI, the "failskirt" in this refers to a skirt that I ordered online and had to take scissors to in order to make the stuck zipper go all the way down):

"The rules are simple: You got sat on your ass? So what? Somebody doesn't realize why you're great? To hell with them. They'll learn or they won't, but you're not a teacher; you're an ass-kicker. You don't have the time to teach. The next time you drink, you're turning a failskirt into a WINskirt and you're working it hardcore. This isn't quantum physics, this is life. Time you spend crying is time you spend dying."

Love. That.

Drat! Foiled Again (By Those Nosy Hipsters).

Those wry and witty hipster kids over at Gawker quasi-stole my idea today, as evidenced here. But I'm not mad; the concept of a Mounted Deer Head Necklace is so ridiculous it deserves as many mocking posts as it can garner -- or "lock," as it were. By the way, is anyone else baffled by the fact that two different companies make two different versions of this bizarre, overpriced bauble?

You know you want to see the picture of the one from Daily Candy again:











And here's the new Gawker-endorsed one:









Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Santa, you're listening, right?