Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Endo Ecstasy

After I work out, I experience a brief and glorious burst of endorphins that turns my entire environment into a movie set. (Well, more Breakfast at Tiffany's than, say, Seven, but you get my meaning.)

Post-gym, when my blond hair is slick with sweat, New York suddenly becomes quaint. The air feels crisp, not cold, and every new thing I hear or see seems authentic and creative. Case in point: a bum-slash-comedian yelling, "Ladies on the inside, men on the outside!" at a couple walking together in Midtown. (This actually meshed with an old wives' tale I heard -- that in the days before running water was common, men would walk on the outside of a sidewalk so ladies would be protected by awnings from randomly falling dirty bathwater that people would throw out their windows. I have no idea whether this is actually true.)

Even the subway was a Manhattan motley crew straight out of central casting: hipster youths pushing past me (naturally); a 40-something man in work clothes wearing an honest-to-god construction hat; a guy with short gray hair and Gucci glasses reading a copy of the Wall Street Journal whom I guessed on sight was an architect; and a large, polite man who rested his metallic gold-encrusted Yankees cap on his knee as he sat (for some reason this struck me as fantastically old-fashioned).

As I scanned the crowd and smiled to myself, I had one thought: Why don't I work out more? Amid the booze, the worries, the scheduling, the plans, the good intentions, the reasons why not, and the just-plain-laziness, there is an eye of calm I'd forgotten about.

The way I felt tonight reminded me of a time when I had just moved to the Upper East Side and was driving myself crazy in my new apartment with my circular thinking. I decided to go for a run along the East River, next to the sparkling water, and my eyes filled with happy tears for a split second, as I directed my thoughts toward the beauty of the city and all that it has to offer, rather than the dysfunctional world I tend to create in my head.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

He Can Train Me Anytime...

Fantastic episode of Work Out tonight. I am obsessed with the show, and not just because I tend to enjoy most lesbian entertainment. And I'm straight. I know, it doesn't add up.

I was ready to write the show off after last week's lame-o group therapy session and the narrow focus on Jackie's new "relationship" with "lesbian" trainer Rebecca (who is so totally a straight girl -- and really childish and annoying to boot, but she's beautiful, so I understand why Jackie would give her a whirl).

But this week's show was fantastic for two reasons:

1. SkyLab client Meghan is a writer at Star magazine, and when her trainer started calling her out for missing workouts and being less than dedicated to her health, she had a nervous breakdown right there on the treadmill. I was completely in Meghan's corner on this one. She works at Star magazine, for God's sake! Her boss is Bonnie Fuller! She's probably lucky to get time to use the bathroom at her job, let alone fit in workouts. I'm surprised she was cleared to do this reality show, unless it's viewed as some sort of a cross-promotional deal between Star and Bravo. Who knows.

2. I have a new television boyfriend, and that person is trainer Peeler. (Yes, as in apple. Or potato.) I don't know much about him other than that he has a syrupy Southern accent, and the way he used positive coaching to get his client through his workout today made my heart melt. I scrolled through some of his blog online (yes, I am that dorky), and although I don't want many, oh, facts to spoil my adoration at this point, I did read that he has a great work ethic and Southern values, and, guys, that's about all you need to earn solid standing in my fantasy sex life. (Along with a nice dose of provocative masculinity, of course.) Here's a pic of him for the ladies. (That's him sitting down, but the other guy isn't half bad, either. Yum.):

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