What the French Connection United Kingdom?

I've developed a new sworn enemy, and it is called the French Connection United Kingdom. I walk by my foe every day on the way to work, and it taunts me, with its cheesy Brandon Flowers–wannabe billboards and its $175 prairie skirts no red-blooded American woman would ever be caught dead in. Yet I remained peaceful in my protest. I could even tolerate it when it used this damned hologram billboard, except this time with a superskinny model stabbing another superskinny model in the belly -- er, washboard abs -- with a stiletto. I chalked it all up to woefully misguided, tacky, meant-for-the-"No Comment"-section-of-Ms. advertisement concocted by some 55-year-old male ad exec with a spray-on tan.

But now? It's war.

Because today, in doing a little research on enemy tactics, I ran across this video, which purports itself to be "Fashion vs. Style." (P.S. Aren't "fashion" and "style" the same thing? Maybe if you have a trust fund, you have a different opinion. E-mail me. We'll hash it out.)

Now.

If this video were at all original or funny or unpredictable, I would jump on the FCUK bandwagon and buy a $78 raffia bag just to show my approval. But, um, it's not. Watch it. Now, is it just me, or was this video totally shot in a rural Illinois basment using the local strippers as actresses? I so wish it were hot or well-done. Aren't the Europeans supposed to be all over that? But it's just sad and...so Maxim in 1998. I may watch it later just to mock it. I encourage you to do the same.