Oh, Henry.

Um, so, did anyone see this story on CNN.com today? A 63-year-old-man, fed up with the anorexic job market for guys his age, robbed a bank to intentionally get three years in prison -- with the room and the board and the food and everything that goes with it.

Did anyone tell this guy that he's essentially ripping off one of the best O. Henry stories ever (film version starring Marilyn Monroe)? When I saw this news article on CNN.com, I'm not going to lie: My eyes lit up. It was life imitating art, and I adore this guy for bringing to Ohio's attention that the concept of minimum-wage work that pays the bills is pretty much a fairy tale these days. I hear you, Timothy J. Bowers. Now all that's left is getting the country to side with you.