Tuesday, November 07, 2006

OMG, OMG: Kevin and Britney are Splitsville

This just in (six hours ago): Britney Spears filed for divorce from Kevin Federline. And that apparently merited a "breaking news" update from CNN.com in the middle of this election day. Classic. And even my usually reserved office went all atwitter, chain-reaction-whisper-style when we heard the news this afternoon.

Without knowing the specifics of B and K's last moments together (I so cannot wait for my Us Weekly tomorrow), I just want to say this: I don't want to heap "I told you sos" and "Finallys" on Britney. As cynical as I usually am about early marriage, stupid girls, and having babies while one is a baby oneself, I do feel a twinge of support and relief for her.

True, Britney will never be brightest bulb on the marquee sign, but have a little empathy. After all, haven't we all gone "slumming" at one point in our lives for a guy/gal who was super-artsy or super-self-assured or just super-sexy? And didn't we swear to ourselves it was just about sex or hookups or fun, but in the back of our minds we kinda hoped it would work out? And haven't we all tried to pound a square peg into a round hole that just won't change no matter how many of the hole's liquor bottles we throw out or ladies' numbers we delete from the hole's cell phone or comments of the hole's that we try to ignore even as we're slumping down at a dinner party, embarrassed for ourselves and the way things have turned out?

That's Britney. And she was sheltered from the world. All the people who should have told her he's a loser, that he's a bad idea, that he's fun for a tour but maybe not for life, were cashing paychecks signed by Britney. Go up against the boss? Probably not -- if you value your job, that is. Also, what other boys was Britney meeting? Guys in boy bands? Oh, wait, check. Actors? Check. And we all saw how well those turned out. A backup dancer probably didn't seem like a bad option in her mind, especially one who was kinda dangerous and smoked cigarettes and cursed. That'll give an isolated young girl a shiver any day of the week.

But she (she -- not Kevin, that's for sure) held it together for two years. That deserves at least a smattering of applause.


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