Friday, June 01, 2007

This Is a Test

Tell me I can make it go away.

Tell me that I can eradicate this responsibility, this accountability, this intelligence. Right here, on Madison Avenue, tell me -- amid the honking cabs and the catcalls and the losers who have to point it out like obvious idiots -- that I don't have to worry anymore. Tell me that I can be stupid for once. Oblivious for once. Unaware of the consequences of my actions and a certified grown-up, whatever that means anymore.

Tell me that I don't have to think about how he already has my belongings in bags, that I wasted the past few years on hope. That my drinking is normal. That I'll smell your soap on me for the next week at least. That I can forget what drove me away from him in the first place. That I'm younger again.

Tell me that this won't be awkward later, that this is a temporary phase of mine and that I, of course, would never do something this ill-thought-out unless the circumstances dictated it. Which they do. Don't they?

But they don't. This isn't.

And I won't.

This is a toe-dip. This is only a test.

2 Comments:

Blogger Phil said...

Hi Jane,

Remember the famous words of Forest Gump, Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates, You Never Know What You're Going To Get.

Cheer Up My Friend, You Have A Lot Of Friends Out Here On The Internet Who Care About You.

Jane you didn't waste any of your history! You did learn something from that experience didn't you?

Not all things are a learning experience just like not all times are full of pain and anguish.

It seems as though that we are going through really painful times some times in our lives but if we really bothered to look around we could find others who have it much more rough than we do then we ask ourselves why did I ever think that my life is so tough it seems that there is someone out there who has it much more tougher than we do.

Be happy Jane, you are a lovely young lady who has a lot going for herself.

I like Jane and I know a lot of people here on the Net like Jane now all we have to do is to convince Jane to like Jane.

12:16 PM  
Blogger NewbietoNYC said...

Thank you, Phil.

5:19 PM  

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