Here, Kitty, Kitty...

We're all abnormal in our own little ways, but one of the things that makes up my own brand of abnormal is that what many people find humiliating, I find hilarious. Case in point: If I trip on the street and my body is flung forward at such an awkward angle that I must step weirdly and suddenly to recover, sometimes dropping my purse, I'm not embarrassed. In fact, I won't be able to stop laughing. That's because I, myself, find people falling so funny that, post-fall, I take on the viewpoint of the people who saw me bite it. They must be cracking up, too. And that's meta-hilarious.

Same goes for catcalls. Now, I realize that catcalls, when boiled down to their socio-anthro-psychological origins, are extremely sexist and demeaning, but damn if some of them aren't amusing. Plus, I am neither particularly leggy nor conventionally attractive, which makes the concept that I'm being enticed all the funnier. I've been here in New York City for a while now, and these are the top three catcalls I've received in the city:

1. "Hey, White Chocolate! Lookin' good, Mommy!" (Sidenote: I was in gym clothes.)

2. "Smile, Blondie!"

3. Near Radio City Music Hall a few months ago, about 10 young kids ranging from ages 13 to 15 were sitting on a ledge, and I had to pass by wearing a pencil skirt and heels. I knew I was going to hear something, but I didn't expect it to be quite so funny. As I walked by the line of teenagers, there was a domino effect of catcalls: "Damn!" said one. "Damn!" said the one next to him. "Damn!" said the next guy. "Damn!" said the guy after that. "Damn!" said another one. Then, as I had finally passed the last guy, I heard a weak, futile, "Have a nice day!"

I've gotta say, though, I think "White Chocolate" might be my favorite one. If I ever become a DJ, a stripper, or a producer for R&B songs I'm totally using that as my nickname.