Sunday, August 13, 2006

Here, Kitty, Kitty...

We're all abnormal in our own little ways, but one of the things that makes up my own brand of abnormal is that what many people find humiliating, I find hilarious. Case in point: If I trip on the street and my body is flung forward at such an awkward angle that I must step weirdly and suddenly to recover, sometimes dropping my purse, I'm not embarrassed. In fact, I won't be able to stop laughing. That's because I, myself, find people falling so funny that, post-fall, I take on the viewpoint of the people who saw me bite it. They must be cracking up, too. And that's meta-hilarious.

Same goes for catcalls. Now, I realize that catcalls, when boiled down to their socio-anthro-psychological origins, are extremely sexist and demeaning, but damn if some of them aren't amusing. Plus, I am neither particularly leggy nor conventionally attractive, which makes the concept that I'm being enticed all the funnier. I've been here in New York City for a while now, and these are the top three catcalls I've received in the city:

1. "Hey, White Chocolate! Lookin' good, Mommy!" (Sidenote: I was in gym clothes.)

2. "Smile, Blondie!"

3. Near Radio City Music Hall a few months ago, about 10 young kids ranging from ages 13 to 15 were sitting on a ledge, and I had to pass by wearing a pencil skirt and heels. I knew I was going to hear something, but I didn't expect it to be quite so funny. As I walked by the line of teenagers, there was a domino effect of catcalls: "Damn!" said one. "Damn!" said the one next to him. "Damn!" said the next guy. "Damn!" said the guy after that. "Damn!" said another one. Then, as I had finally passed the last guy, I heard a weak, futile, "Have a nice day!"

I've gotta say, though, I think "White Chocolate" might be my favorite one. If I ever become a DJ, a stripper, or a producer for R&B songs I'm totally using that as my nickname.


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